Check the Cupboards


Note how we have so many wine glasses that they actually have to be nestled inside the coffee mugs. 

I’m not sure why people think the medicine cabinet is the best way to poke around someone’s personal life. I say you learn more — so much more — by swinging open a kitchen cabinet door or two.

Not long ago, our cabinets were overrun with Ikea plastic home goods.

I dubbed that upper run of cabinets on the right hand side of the kitchen Plastic Land (seems like there ought to be an umlaut or something over that second ‘a’ but I don’t have those kinds of computer skills). The shelves were stacked tight with blue, yellow, orange and pink cups and bowls and rectangular plates. We had sectioned, hard plastic TV tray plates that I would whip out to make non-pizza, non-burger, non-pasta dinners slightly more tolerable or to make a boxed mac n’ cheese dinner served by a babysitter more festive. Cups from school spelling bees and student-of-the-month prizes — probably only made with the wee-est bit of toxic BPA — added to the unbreakable mix. We had enough plasticware to run a daycare. Or three.

Plastic Land’s population, though, has diminished in recent years.

We’ve kept a bit of the Ikea stuff, but now it’s home to acrylic tumblers with college logos — and some wine glass overstock. We have a looooooot of wine ware. Bulbous Reidel goblets only for pinot, acrylic ones to use for poolside imbibing, stemless green ones from Target for the gutter swill I drink (give me the screw-top sweetness of Boone’s Farm peach-flavored apple wine). We’ve got a pretty decent assortment of fancy-schmancy beer glasses, too. And to think, we started off our married life with a set of margarita glasses and leaded crystal wine chalices that we promptly wrapped in newspaper and stuffed in a box in the closet. For more than a decade.

For years the only wine glasses we pulled out for company were emblazoned with the blue logo from the charity event we attended two years in a row — mostly so we could cobble together a set.

So what do our cabinets say about us? That we’re alcoholics? Nah, one of us (not me) grew up and developed mature enough taste buds to appreciate the woodsy nature of a good, oaked Malbec with distinct notes of spice, tar, tobacco, stinky feet and poo (sorry, those last two are just my own editorial opinions).

And, we have three teenagers in the house. If that won’t drive you to drink (just a lil’ something to take the edge off), I don’t know what will.

What would you find if you peeked into my medicine cabinet? Definite signs of addiction — to hair products. It’s stuffed with lots and lots of them. Mousse, dry shampoo powder, dry shampoo spray, gel, texturizing paste, beach waves spray in an orange scent, beach waves spray in no scent, beach waves spray in a perfume-y scent that I don’t like any more, beach waves spray in this cool black bottle that makes my hair too crunchy. Plus, not one but two packs of dental floss. You don’t ever want to run out of floss. Good dental hygiene is important. Oh, and something that goes hand-in-hand with all the wine glasses —  a good whitening toothpaste.



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