Kristen’s* Holiday Gift Guide




This is how I feel right now. Ahhhhhhh……



Yup, I’m done with my Christmas shopping. And just so you appreciate what a monumental feat this is, I not only had to shop for my family but my parents tapped out this year so I bought on their behalf, too, AND we have not one but two birthdays at Thanksgiving AND another two in December. Whew.

Yes, that is a 9.95 on the HDS, Holiday Difficulty Scale. Actually, make that a full 10.0 because there was one point last night when Old Navy wouldn’t accept my credit card. Sigh. Yes, Mastercard, that was indeed aaaallllll me. No fraudulent purchases here. Although if one of my children continues to behave in surly teenage mode, I may well decide my credit card was hijacked for that Brandy Melville spree.

But while I’m pretty darn proud of myself** I am well aware that this can be a difficult time for many, especially those who are not savvy shoppers. I will admit to a brief moment of complete panic when those Cyber Monday deals started flooding the ol’ inbox yesterday. Once I typed in the CVV for that first purchase, though, I got into a rhythm and knocked it all out.

Don’t worry — since this is the season for giving, I would like to gift YOU with some ideas I came across. Might make your holiday shopping a bit easier. You’re welcome.

Behold, The Real Kristen Cook Gift Guide*** of stuff you should totally get…. or completely avoid. You be the judge.

First up, quarters!



Those are indeed slightly indented quarters that you can use as guitar picks. Wow, nothing says I have money to burn like spending $30 for 25 cents.

Also, in case you were wondering what is actually underneath those MAGA caps….


My mother-in-law actually stumbled across this thing. I personally don’t buy anything for the people I love if it hasn’t been FDA cleared. Usually.

If there’s a wee one on your list:



I’m going to overlook the fact that this $48 blankie could have had an amazing alliterative name like Burrito Baby.

Along similar ethnic food, gift giving lines…. Ta da! Taco booties!



Also, $1,650 seems a small price to pay for the enjoyment you’d get out of pretending your 100-plus pound dog is a giant hamster.




OK, so that should be enough to get you started! Now, if you’ll excuse me for a sec, I need to pull a Santa and check my list twice. I’ve got to look over my so-called Yule Log that keeps track of my holiday purchases… OK, that one’s done and that one’s done… Wait a minute! What?! Oh crap…. I have THREE kids. Guess I’m not finished shopping after all. Fudge. Guess I’d better go call Mastercard and get back at it….


*True story. Even autocorrect gives me no love because that originally came out as Kirsten’s Holiday Gift Guide

**My holiday cards are printed, picked up and ready to be stuffed into envelopes and mailed.

***Pat. pending


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