Now on the Market: Absolute Gem*! (Puttin’ the Real in Real Estate)

MLS #CH9483291901

Four bedroom, three-bath stunner house! Conveniently located near Trader Joe’s and Target and doughnuts!

Facts and Features

Type: Messy Single family

Year built: 1968

Heating: Lots of hot air, er, forced air

Cooling: Central

Roof: Yes

Expansive granite counter tops — perfect for fruit stickers; enough room for a week’s worth of unwashed dishes and bananas just past their prime

Two-dog fireplace

Double-sink vanity, perfect for piling up washcloths and other grooming miscellany

Plenty of drawers for kids *not* to shut

Wood laminate flooring… under there, somewhere

Dining room can be a fifth bedroom in a pinch

Ample space for oversized, over-chewed dog beds

Reading nook with all the amenities

Listing price: Make an offer!

*Neither of these things is true, I just thought it would be fun to imagine what an accurate MLS listing would look like.