Yet Another Gift Guide (But This One Won’t Make You Gag)

Forget Oprah.

And Gwyneth with her Goop Guide because do you really want to gift your mom with a pelvic floor tightener? Ho ho no.

These gift guides usually strike me as, um, asspirational. Even the person with everything would agree she does not need a $250 brass fire extinguisher*.

So, screw those guides! I can’t really say this is particularly tasteful, but it’s definitely goofy and honestly, people should know that this glorious stuff is out there because it’s kind of awesome. So, without further ado, I’m gonna make like Julie Andrews and point out some of my fave things…

Treat Tosser

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Normally tossing your treats isn’t a good thing. But in this case, it’s not a euphemism for barfing. This gizmo actually rewards your pooch. It strikes me that this could also be pretty amazing with toddlers — stick some Cheerios or Goldfish in there and have some fun.


Birks with a Quirk

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I have never been a Birkenstock gal. Just not crunchy enough. Although, my surgically-enhanced feet are bad enough to warrant orthotic-looking kicks. Whenever I see teens and college students sporting those clunkers, though, I do think it’s pretty adorbs. You can pull off a lot of things when you’re young.

Shearling lining?! Glitter?! They’re kind of amazing. I wouldn’t pay $164 for a novelty shoe that would require at least three margaritas to wear out of the house, but if they go 85 percent off, I might bite.




OK, OK, I know this is basically the Snuggie. But, it’s not. This is the Snuggie all dressed up because it comes in a snappy leopard print. That elevates it to… appropriate formal wear for all your seasonal shindigs. Well hello second (and third and fourth) pass through the dessert buffet! The Comfy is your license to overindulge this holiday season and look appropriately chic. Perhaps pair them with the Birks for true holiday spirit and style.



Oh don’t act surprised. You knew there had to at least be a lil’ plug for This. 

Look at all the cool people who are into it so if you haven’t yet read it, give in to peer pressure! Makes a great gift, too, and it’s waaaay cheaper than the striped, three-toned purl knit yak down throw ($525) Gwynie is peddling.

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*In a sign that something is definitely wrong with the world, since I started this post, the brass is sold out and the only finish that’s available now in the fancy fire extinguishers is chrome.

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