Not At All Ready For HGTV


So I was cleaning grout with my son’s toothbrush* — super fun job, BTW — and felt the ceramic tile give a little as I scrubbed.

I leaned in closer and a crack snaked across the giant square. How did THAT happen?! I looked accusingly at the dog who was watching me from the corner of the room; she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

A few hours later my husband and son — whom I would like to point out were golfing while I was on my hands and bum knee scrubbing the floors — came home.

”You’re not going to believe this,” I said. “We have a cracked tile! Look!”

“Oh,” my son said. “Sorry, I think that was me.”

Because the gym is closed, he was weightlifting at home and because our equipment is old and janky, a few 25-pound plates slid off the bar after the metal screw-on thingie loosened.

“I saw that there was a chip, but I didn’t think it actually cracked. My bad.”

And that, my friends, is reason No. 237 that I am tired of lockdown.


*Well I got him a new one.


Bonus: Things that made me laugh this week…


Decor? That dude totally thinks that means HIM. He’s not wrong.

Also, he’s just a smirky look and pointy chin away from being a Ryan Gosling meme. “Hey, girl. I’ll accessorize your backyard. Any. Time.”



The surest sign that we’re all losing valuable brain cells while on quarantine — holiday gnomes are trending in May.

1 thought on “Not At All Ready For HGTV

  1. Dear Kristen, thanks for the laughs every time you post on your blog. You really should get an award for helping to make quarantine more tolerable❤️
    And Happy Birthday to my favorite daughter-in-law🥰


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