What the What?!

I told myself to drop it.

After all, in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that big of a deal. I need to make like whichever “Frozen” character (Ariel? Aladdin? Sven?) and just let it go.

But, it’s not that easy.

This … this … travesty just continued to plague me. I don’t understand how things could get to this point and how this could even make sense. But then, what does makes sense in our world any more? Except for cookies and super fudgy brownies. The world is beyond upside down and so it this abomination. It’s so unnatural that I feel like I have to speak up. I can’t be quiet any longer …

Why the hell do stuffed juice boxes exist?! Oh, excuse me, apparently the proper name is “squishable comfort food juice box.” No one takes comfort in hugging a juice box! You take comfort in CHUGGING it. Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 5.05.11 PM


You can also find a stuffed stack of pancakes, a stuffed burrito (which looks disturbing, like it has three conjoined heads because of the unfortunate placement of the brown spots from a perfect toasting — see for yourself right there below), stuffed cherries, a baguette, even French toast with a mustache and jaunty ber-ry, instead of a beret. Screen Shot 2020-07-23 at 10.23.22 AM

This is just so bizarre, even more bizarre is that squishable comfort comes at so high a cost — all of it over $40! I could eat several breakfast burritos for that and feel way more satisfied.

There’s no way any of this makes a lick of sense. Oh wait, maybe it does. Apparently, there is huggable bacon. Now THAT I get.


Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 5.05.34 PM.png

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