Weird Memorabilia*


Sometimes you fall down a rabbit hole.

For me, this doesn’t take  much… When there are toilets to clean, kitchen counters to wipe down, forms I don’t want to fill out, a blog post I’m not sure I’m quite ready to write, I am super easily distracted. And so No. 3 had to run a mile for basketball practice, timed, and told us he did it in a little over 5 minutes, which strikes me as Usain Bolt fast, but then I come from a long line of very slow people. He said he felt like he was going to throw up and sprinted the whole way.

Now I ran track, once upon a time long, long ago. Poorly, but I did it. My track coach — fun fact, he was one of the finalists for NASA’s teacher-in-space program so that tells you how long ago this was — wasn’t quite sure what to do with me because I was bad at everything and only ran because I liked a boy and my friends were all doing it. So, he stuck me at the 800, where I did not the worst but usually next to worst. It was driving me crazy that I couldn’t remember my “fastest” time. Maybe 2:09? For some reason that is what’s stuck in my head. Recently my mom gave me a stash of papers from elementary school on that she found, so I went digging through because I just knew there had to be some official record of my amazing fourth place (out of five) finish at divisionals.

Never found it. Oh, but the things I did find!

Xeroxed party invitations from college… Weirdly, I was once named PE student of the month in high school… Wait, it gets weirder. I’ll let you see for yourself:


This was from — this makes me laugh — a high school ENGINEERING program I attended at the University of Arizona. What kind of award is that? That just means I wasn’t worthy of any of the cool awards the popular kids got. Oh wait, this was engineering camp. There were no cool, popular kids…



This is kinda mortifying. I apparently kept track of all the “known facts” I’d acquired about the football player I had a crush on in high school. I would have made an excellent spy. Instead, I put these skills to use stalking a college basketball player a few years later.


I cannot believe there was a call slip… Seriously? Who keeps that? I think I have now officially qualified to guest star on one of those hoarders shows.


*Which isn’t so much memorabilia as crap

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